Is there a right way
and a wrong way to pray?[1]
7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you
will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks
finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 Which of you, if
his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a
snake?
11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how
to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven
give good gifts to those who ask him!
(1) When children come to their parents to ask for things, what kinds of things do they ask for?
(2) How often do children ask selfishly?
(3) What does Jesus teach in the above verses about this kind of asking?
(4) Some Christians say that asking God for things for yourself is a wrong way to pray because it’s selfish. Examine the following prayers and talk about how this might be a wrong way of thinking about prayer.
Numbers 11
11 He [Moses] asked the Lord, “Why have you
brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you
put the burden of all these people on me?
12 Did I conceive all these people?
Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse
carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers?
13
Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us
meat to eat!’
14 I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too
heavy for me.
15 If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right
now -
if I have found favor in your eyes
-
and do not let me face my own ruin.”
2 Kings 2
23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As
he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at
him. “Go on up, you baldhead!” they said. “Go on up, you baldhead!”
24
He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of
the Lord.
13 “But the tax collector stood at a
distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said,
‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’”
Matthew 14
30 But when he [Peter walking on the water] saw
the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
38 Jesus was in the stern [of a boat during a
fierce storm], sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him,
“Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
7 Remember, O Lord, what the Edomites did on
the day Jerusalem fell. “Tear it down,” they cried, “tear it down to its
foundations!”
8 O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us
-
9 he who seizes your infants and dashes them
against the rocks.
(5) Now read about how God responded to each of these prayers. How did God react differently from the way you did? Why do you think this is?
Numbers 11
11 He [Moses] asked the Lord, “Why have you
brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you
put the burden of all these people on me?
12 Did I conceive all these people? Did I give
them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an
infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers?
13 Where can I get meat for all these people?
They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’
14 I cannot carry all these people by myself;
the burden is too heavy for me.
15 If this is how you are going to treat me,
put me to death right now
-
if I have found favor in your eyes
-
and do not let me face my own ruin.”
16 The Lord said to Moses: “Bring me seventy of
Israel’s elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people.
Have them come to the Tent of Meeting, that they may stand there with you.
17 I will come down and speak with you there,
and I will take of the Spirit that is on you and put the Spirit on them. They
will help you carry the burden of the people so that you will not have to carry
it alone.
Luke 18
13 “But the tax collector
stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast
and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the
other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be
humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he
was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him.
“Go on up, you baldhead!” they said. “Go on up, you baldhead!”
24 He turned around, looked at them and called
down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the
woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.
30 But when he [Peter] saw the wind, he was
afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and
caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the
wind died down.
38 Jesus was in the stern [of a boat during a
fierce storm], sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him,
“Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the
waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so
afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
7 Remember, O Lord, what the Edomites did on
the day Jerusalem fell. “Tear it down,” they cried, “tear it down to its
foundations!”
8 O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us
-
9 he who seizes your infants and dashes them
against the rocks.
(6) Can you pray wrong?
(7) How appropriate is it for us, in
prayer, to:
(a) Yell at God because
we’re mad at Him for what He has allowed in our lives.
(b)
Tell God in no uncertain terms exactly what we think of that miserable person
who just hurt us.
(c)
Cry out: “Why me! Why me! What did I ever do to deserve this!”
(d)
Complain to God.
(e)
Argue with God.
(8) Is there anything we shouldn’t say to God?
(9) According to Romans 8:26, which says, “We do not know what we ought to pray for”, will we ever really know how to pray “properly”?
(10) Should our shortcomings in prayer stop us from praying?
(11) What is God’s solution to sorting out our prayers (Rom. 8:26-28): “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Wordless Prayer
(12) Sometimes children come to their parents without words. They come crying, they come screaming in rage or pain, they come with arms out to be held, they come and just cling to a leg or a skirt. At those times, their emotion or their actions speak without words. How is prayer sometimes the same as this?
(13) Sometimes children come, crawl up on a parent’s lap, and the two just sit. How is prayer sometimes like this?
(14) Children don’t always want to be communicating with their parents. How appropriate is it for us to have the same feeling about prayer?
(15) Sometimes what comes out of children’s mouths is shocking. Sometimes what comes out of our hearts isn’t much better. How appropriate is it to just speak out all our sin and wickedness to God?
(16) Children love to tell stories about all the bad things other people do, especially if those bad things were done to them. How appropriate is it for us to tell all our stories about other people to God?
Personal Application
(17) How our parents treated us when we came to talk with them can sometimes affect how we think God will react to us when we come to Him in the same way. Which of the following trigger memories of how your parents reacted to you, and how have your parents’ responses affected your ability to talk with God?
(a) You came crying, seeking comfort and help, but were told “Shut up, or I’ll give you something to cry for”, or “Don’t be such a big cry baby”, or “Big boys/girls don’t cry over something like that”, or “Oh, grow up!”
(b) You came seeking help because some other kid was making your life miserable, and you were told, “You’re big and ugly enough to go fight your own battles”.
(c) You wanted to talk but were told: “Not now; I’m busy”.
(d) You wanted to share something at the table but were told not to interrupt the adults, and children should be seen and not heard.
(e) You made a gift and, when you presented it, were asked: “What is this thing?”
(f) You failed at something and told your parents your heart-breaking tale. They responded: “What kind of idiot goes and does something like that”, or “Where was your head”.
(g) You asked your Mum or Dad to play a game with you and were told: “I’m too busy right now”, or “I’ve got more important things to do than that.”
(h) You came home filthy dirty and walked up to your parents, who shrieked in horror, told you not to touch anything, and nagged on you all the way up to the tub about how could you possibly have got into so much filth, and now all your clothes will have to be washed, and ironed and what a lot of trouble you are causing.
(18) How is God different from your parents?
(19) Take some time to forgive your parents for their shortcomings in raising you.
[1] For more information on simple prayer, see Richard J. Foster, Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home (New York: HarperSan Francisco, 1992), Chapter 1, “Simple Prayer”.